Tokyo Ghoul Fanfic
by nonchalantpup
Summary: Azumi has been independent ever since her parents thought she turned on them once she became a ghoul. She has relied and trusted only one person. Herself. That all changes when she meets Uta, a ghoul she met on the streets beat up from a territory fight. She gets love and care, which she thought she would never get again. It is hard to let another person in, but it may be worth it.
1. Ghosts and Ghouls

Everyone I know keeps telling me that my parents died in a car crash. It happened on a rainy day on the hill in town where the road was steep and the side rail was rusty. Everyone keeps telling me how terrible the accident was and how my parents didn't deserve to live such short lives. But I know that all of those stories were lies.

I know first hand that my parents weren't some heroics of the town. They left me to be on my own. They abandoned me when I so called "turned on them." They despised their own daughter just because she had become a ghoul.

They aren't my parents. I don't regard them as nothing but ghosts of my past. Yes, terrible things can happen to people. I like to call that karma. People who get bad things often deserved it. Everyone is a slave to sin. Ever since I became a ghoul when I was 14, I've been living and surviving on my own. I liked being alone. I couldn't trust people. Everyone is just looking out for themselves and giving people false advice to what would fit their fancy.

Now I'm 18 years old and a third year. I can almost be done with school and go on with a career to put myself where I want to be. I want to be a detective. I can give the people and ghouls information to help those who cannot protect themselves. I can help the defenseless ghouls against the doves. I can be the one on the inside to help ghouls like me.

I wake up every morning at 06 hours to get ready for school. Every morning I get myself out of bed to go to a useless school filled with artificial people. God knows why I even bother to go. I know a diploma would get me where I want to be, but I hate all the people around me. In public, people just act nice to other people who they hate and envy. They put a smile on their face and make nice in order to reap all of the benefits of that person.

I walk to school. The air smells like gasoline and the rain is steadily pouring onto the pavement in a moderate drizzle. Cars drive by too quickly, passing through red lights and masses of pedestrians to make it to work on time.

Suddenly, I get pulled into an alley. Oh great. I'm probably walking on some other ghouls territory. Come to think of it, I haven't eaten all week. I need to go hunting soon or else I won't be able to act normal in front of all these people.

I turn around to see who grabbed me. It turns out to be a young man who's probably in his early 20's. His white shirt is stained red and smells of blood. His kakugan is visible in his almond shaped eyes. His hair is side swept to the left and shaved on the right. A tattoo in greek is wrapped around his neck. Other tattoos line his arms and chest. His back is hunched over, meeting my height. His arms are wrapped around his abdomen, probably keeping blood from pouring out.

On instinct I help the man sit down. I rip a piece off the hem of my shirt to apply pressure to help stop the bleeding. The ghoul catches his breath. I fix my composure and try to talk to him in a calm smooth voice. He was probably in a territory fight with another ghoul, or a dove tried to kill him or torture him for information on other S-class ghouls. The man's breathing has returned to normal. His body is starting to self heal itself. I will get some answers.


	2. No Face

The ghoul introduces himself and sweeps a hand through his hair.

"Thank you so much for helping me."

"My pleasure."

"I'm Uta. The doves call me No Face," Uta outreaches a hand to shake with mine.

"I'm Azumi," I shake his hand and get a good look at him. His facial expressions remain the same. He's tall and has lanky arms and legs. He's wearing a used to be white collared shirt and black jeans.

I can tell he's evaluating my appearance too. I'm a short girl with long dark brown hair. I'm in my school uniform of a white shirt and black skirt with knee highs and dress shoes. A stupid school uniform that doesn't fit my style at all. He probably thinks I'm some goody-two-shoes who is class president and is in every school club.

"I'm so sorry for being a bother to you. I just smelled a ghoul was nearby and I needed serious help."

"It's fine. I'm glad I could help. What happened to you anyways? Was it a dove?"

"No I was just hunting in a place I wasn't supposed to."

"I'm glad you're okay. I hear territory fights happen all of the time, but I've never seen the aftermath damage in person."

"Well, thank you for helping me. I probably made you late. Sorry."

"It's okay. I'm just going to school. It's not even worth it if I'm late."

"You don't want to end up going to cram school. Don't your parents want you to go to school?"

"My parents died. And before that, they didn't even care much about me."

I can't believe I am just spilling my life story right to a random ghoul I just met. Uta is just making it so easy to open up to. I can't help it. My thoughts are interrupted when he starts talking.

"Want to come back to my house?" Uta's face blushes red and he waves his hands up to prove he's innocent, "not to sound like a creeper at all, but I mean you helped me and I want to return the favor."

I feel my stomach drop. I should just skip school today. It'd be pretty easy. But I barely know Uta. How could I know he won't end up torturing me or killing me. He couldn't. He wouldn't do that to me. He isn't in the shape to do it, and I just saved his life almost. But there's something about him giving me attention and wanting to get to know me better that makes my inside tingle and fill up with happiness.

"Sure, I'd love to."


	3. A Different Side of Town

Uta starts walking through intricate alley ways with me right on his heels. He has a limp in one of his legs and I put his arm around my shoulder to help him walk home. We don't talk, but so much is being said in the silence.

His name is Uta. He's young and handsome, and he has this dangerous feeling coming from the way he moves his body and talks with such passion and knowledge and affirmation. His name is Uta, a mysterious boy I know nothing about, but who is giving me jitters and a loss of time and space itself.

Soon enough, he reaches his other hand to get a set of keys from his back pocket of black ripped jeans. I slide out from under his arm, hoping he can stay up to open the door.

"After you," Uta says and opens the door to let me in first.

The apartment is in an unfamiliar neighborhood on the bad side of town. I never go down here often because I heard of all the stories that occur in this part of the city. I hear about the violence and the murders, but never about kind, simple-minded men like Uta. Right when I walk in, the room is all dark. Several staggered windows emit light here and there. There's just enough light to maneuver yourself around the place, but not too much to imitate the sun midday. The furniture is old and torn blankets lie askew everywhere. Coffee rings are on the table tops and unfinished crossword newspaper puzzles on top of numerous books.

"Why do you never turn the lights on?" I ask quizzically. I never turn lights on in my house either, but I was surprised someone like this had the same oddity as me. There's a reason I never have lights on in my house. Light is too common. It is too welcoming and happy. Nothing can ever be that good and pure. Why indulge in such a thing when the world is nothing like that?

"Well, electricity can get pretty damn expensive for one person," he scoffs, "but I just don't like the light very much. I prefer working in the dark."

"I see," I answer back with slight awe at such thinking. How could there be someone with such a brilliant mind be living here, where the newspaper articles are mostly bad news, the gunshots are fired, and the window cracking screams are always resounding off of the too close together concrete buildings.

"Please, take a seat. Make yourself at home. I'll be right back, I just need to tidy up."

He leaves down a hallway to change clothes. I sit down on the dark gray sofa. The room is cold. A draft comes from the windows and doorway cracks. I grab a blanket, never mind the fact of how dirty it could be or how many countless warm bodies have stopped by to spend the night with such a welcoming friend.

I take in my surroundings and the bounty of newspapers on the coffee table astound me. All the newspapers are from past Sundays with missing persons reports and odds and end articles about mysterious Uta be an investigator on the look out for helpless ghouls? That would be some philanthropy to put down on a college application.

Uta stumbles back into the living room. I look down and clench my hands in my lap nervously.

"Would you like some coffee? You must be freezing. I always keep the temperature too low."

"Thank you, but I'm good," I don't want to intrude and just start leeching on all the things he has to offer, and by the looks of it, he doesn't have much.I look down nervously from not knowing how to conduct myself in another ghoul's : I never have been in another ghoul's home.I notice my fingers are trembling and pale. "You know, maybe I will have you for being so kind."

"It's all I can really do. You practically saved me from being someone's breakfast."

"Oh it's no problem. I like helping." I turn around to see Uta standing behind the kitchen counter, busy brewing the coffee. There is something so beautiful with the way he reaches his thin delicate arms opening cupboards and handles chinaware. I can't help but stare.

"Like the view?" Uta says in amusement as he turns the gas stove on to heat up some water.

This comment throws me off guard. I immediately start blushing. I didn't realize he knew I was watching. "No, I was just," I start to argue back to defend myself from further humiliation, "It's just that you still haven't treated the cut on your stomach."

He looks down at his stomach and lifts his shirt. The cut from another ghoul's kagune has opened up and started slowly bleeding. The bottom of his shirt is slowly getting a red spot from blood seeping through.

I get up and maneuver past the couch and the coffee table and the wooden chairs to get to the kitchen by Uta.

"Do you have any gauze and tape?"

"Yes, in the cabinet over there."

I lean on my tip toes to try to reach the first aid kit in the cabinet. After several tries, I suddenly am tall enough to grab the small bag.

"You know, you shouldn't be reaching up high. You'll open the cut even more." I turn around to find Uta right next to me. His head a few inches above mine. I look up and find him smiling.

"I think I'm good." That gorgeous smirk appears again.


	4. Risk or Reward

I look around the small dim apartment again, trying to ignore the fact that a handsome smartass is barely five inches away from me. Uta's arms are above my head and his body is barely an inch from mine, slightly pushing me against the countertop. It's hard to resist the urge to look him staight in the face when he's standing so close.

My heart's racing, and I feel uncomfortable and almost scared. My breaths are short and my hands are trembling. He slides his arms down my sides and stops at my waist, bringing me closer to him. Uta arches his back and I stand on my tiptoes. Our faces so close that I can feel him leaning into a kiss and his breaths let out playfully.

I almost fall for him. Almost. I almost fall into the kiss and his strong, warm embrace. I allmost fall for his safety in this screwed up world. Just as our lips touch, I twist out of his grasp and run.

I run straight out of the door and into the mucky, cold, noisy alley where other apartments are connected. I turn around and anxiously look for other people. I just want to be alone. My throat is constricting, and my heart is beating out of my chest. I lean against a grimy brick wall, trying to get a hold of my own thoughts.

We were just about to kiss. I was just about to kiss a man I just met off of the streets. Something got me distracted. Was it the way he looked? Was it because I was so lonely? Was it because I needed a break from my boring routine _that_ badly?

I catch my breathe and get a feel for my surroundings, ultimately bringing me back into reality. I can feel the dirt inbetween my fingers when i press them against the cold hard brick wall. I just left without warning. I sprang out of that room like a child escaping a dark room.

The difference was that Uta was a dark room and I was the child. I was a child who just turned the light out and knew a boogey monster was right on my trail. Uta was the dark room which I knew nothing about, but was scared nonetheless. I was a child who kept running until they arrived at the embrace of a familiar face and bright light where all is known and all is good.

It was childish of me to run from Uta. I have never loved before. Well, of course I have loved before. I used to know what love was, thanks to my parents giving out compliments and reminders about how much they love me. Loved. They left me on a bad note. They abandoned me at a time when I needed help and guidance the most.

I have never loved an individual in a romantic sense. I could never dish out my trust to just any person on the streets. Time after time I would get let down, turned on, or exploited for crimes I didn't committ. How do I know that I can trust Uta? He was in a vulnerable situation when I found him. Would he have acted differently if we just met on the streets and he didn't need my help?

After what seemed like a calm, safe haven and resting place for me to sort out my thoughts, I get interrupted. Uta finally finds me. His hair is disheveled and his shoes aren't even on.

"Hey Azumi, I didn't mean to scare you back there. I just thought-"

"You thought what? That I would effortlessly be swooned by you and start making out with a guy a just met?"

A hurt expression transitions to Uta's face. "No, I-" He tries to find the right words which clearly isn't easy. "I didn't mean to come on too strong to you. I thought you were interested in me. Most people would just toss a few coins aside by a hurt man. Not even that. Most ghouls would kill another at any chance they get, but you didn't."

"I wouldn't do that to someone who's clearly injured. You could barely walk back there. I just did it because I-"

"You saw something in me?"

"No," I'm baffled by his arrogance, "I like to help other people. I guess my upbringing was sort of messed up and I don't want anyone else to feel how I did."

"See, you're not like most ghouls or people for that fact. I'm sorry if back there I misinterpreted some signs. I didn't know people with good intentions actually existed."

"Me either." The borderline argument comes to a pause.

"Will you give me a chance to get to know you?"

"I- I guess. I have to tell you, I'm not really used to letting people into my life."

"And that's okay. Everyone has their past to learn from."

I look down at my feet. The knee socks to my uniform are wet at the knee cap and are at uneven heights on my thigh. I can't really learn much from my past. I just need to get over the idea of my parents abandoning me. I have to let people in. Is it even worth it though? Uta could be like any other ghoul: dangerous, compulsive, and blood-thirsty. He could also be a blessing and a safe guard to always return to when things are a little too crazy. Should I take this risk and be rewarded with a new confidant or end up hurt and heartbroken?

"So what do you say?" Uta outreaches his pale boney hand out for me to take. "Can I take you on a real date and tell you a little more about myself?"

I nod my head, accept his yearning hand, and take a risk.


End file.
